I can’t believe it’s been almost one year since the team traveled to Bogota. This weekend I have been missing the kids a lot. I bought a blue flowered picture frame and put in a photo of one of the girls who really softened my heart (although they all did in their own unique ways). I wonder how a year has changed the children- have they grown taller, smarter, and kinder? Have they been adopted, and did our week there make a difference and leave a lasting memory? It did for me! I realize that I am only a small piece of the lives I came to love, and that made me sad at first. I want to be the one to love daily and teach consistently.
God has been teaching me about seasons and His perfect timing. I go through periods where I will be super passionate about adoption ministry for months and then taper off. I feel bad about this- like I should be uber involved 24/7. I feel that God gives me these one and off times to both grow and renew myself as a Christ-follower, teacher, friend, and maybe even future mother. I question God’s timing: “Why now?”, and “Why not now?” are things He’s heard from me often. Yet, I will choose to give the emotions-good and bad, the fears, the heartache. I will choose to give and wait on Him for all desires.
The blessings are plenty, but they must be waited for. This weekend I received an email from a future adoptive parent asking me what memories I had of his future son from my trip. Although not much, I am blessed beyond measure to be able to offer these memories and hope that someday I will be the one asking! Our prayers for a family have been answered, despite the period of waiting!
This weekend, He humbled my heart about giving. Jesus said to “Give it all away”. So I will. My time, my money, my emotions, my desires, my fears, my life.
The world tells me to give up- too young, too broke, too insignificant, too afraid. But my God tells me to keep going- He’s adequate strength, perfect peace, and joy unspeakable.
Yesterday, my church celebrated what they call Orphan Sunday. Usually celebrated in November, the church invited 40 adoptive families to come and celebrate the goodness and triumphs God has shown them through adoption. There were testimonies, songs, and a sermon on encouraging those who are wavering to stop waiting and get involved. There was a full presence of God’s greatness in the church, and there were many opportunities shared on exactly “what we can do”.
Lately, I’ve been feeling like the world doesn’t want me in this “we” category. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not mad at these people who seem to be tying me down, it’s just so human to give looks of “You are too young” or “That’s nice, But you probably just came up with that idea yesterday, right?” I spoke to the adoption advocate about what I can do if I wanted to work from the states, and she jokingly said, “Are you afraid to go?” I smiled, but it stung. I have a full-time career waiting for me post-graduation, and I feel God is putting me there, as well as preparing me for adoption work. Why do we think everyone who is pro-adoption should live overseas, have 30+ years, and be a psychologist?
I wish I could get others to understand that this dream is the most wonderful and difficult action God has placed on my life. I have been praying for 6 years that God would reveal if this is His will, and slowly, He is, but I can’t seem to get anyone else on board. I search for mentors, but I get a business card and end up leaving without the mentoring and learning relationship I crave so desperately.
I believe that in order to start saving lives, we need to get over the stereotypes. You don’t have to be a middle-aged couple to be involved (although it helps), and you don’t have to be a certain age for God to give you a heart of ministry. The church isn’t growing because we are too busy looking for the “perfect person” when the seekers are right in front of us.
Why give to Campaign 143? I chose the number 18, because it’s my lucky number. I’m not a superstitious person, but the day of my birth when selected has always brought positive results. BUT! Even though it was so easy to chose a number, it was more difficult to come up with a reason for donating because it just felt right. Still, I want to give others a solid reason for donating, not because it “feels good” or because it’s what Christians are supposed to do. So here’s my reasoning:
If you’ve read my blog before you’ve heard me mention the name “Daniel” several times. This kid touched my heart so greatly in just a few short days. Daniel is silly and playful, but kind and gentle. He’s proud of his sister, and full of life. I’ve come to the conclusion that every kid is a Daniel in their own special way. Some are shy, and some are sociable. Some are carefree, and some are serious, but they all have something unique about them. Each one of these children has been uniquely created by God with a unique story. There are families God is preparing the hearts of to love these children, and when you come to love someone, you desire the best for them. You long to see them grow and be loved not for what they do, but who they are. Christians, these are our children. Will you love them?